Throw away age

The age of the throw away culture. My lease on my car was up so what did I do, I leased a new car. Damn it is a nice car. Push button start, sunroof, Bluetooth for my phone, Bose speakers, plays MP3’s, quite inside and out. Graduating, new guy, new car, new city, new hair cut, does this give way to a new life?

This is not the first time I have up and relocated, leaving everything behind. I believe in reinventing myself everyday, break up the monotony. When you spend 16+ hours a day with yourself it can get relatively boring if you don’t mix it up. Those who don’t get board with themselves are too simple or drama addicts.

It has now been five years in the same town, with the same people, the same job, the same old shit day in and day out. I don’t understand how people do this for 20 years at a time. Going to the same job, living in the same house, raising kids, dropping them off at school everyday for 12 years.

My best friend Betzy is completely opposite of me when it comes to starting over. I will keep her in my life no matter where I go or who I become but how I ended up friends with that woman is beyond me. Betzy’s number one goal in life was to become a mother. I learned about this when her daughter was 3 years old and was floored by this revelation. I would never. She got her associates degree in something or another and would have worked at the same dead end job at an insurance claims place if they hadn’t laid her off. Now she is over worked and underpaid in the insurance department of the local hospital. She will never leave this job.

She bought a house, which means she will never leave the town, and is slowly fixing it up. Betzy is rooted down and happy as a clam. This leads to some crazy conversations when I call her and ask for advice. She is good with advice, will tell me how she sees it, and I know she is right even when I don’t want to hear it. But she put down roots and my bohemian/gypsy blood cause me to spread my wings and fly away. Betzy keeps me grounded and that’s why I love her, even if we don’t see eye to eye on issues of life.

Others have stated that they wish they could have my gypsy nature but they don’t know the sacrifice that it takes. Being able to move to a new town and start a new life is amazing but finding another whose wings fly the same path is virtually impossible. The probability of finding that person who I can fall asleep with every night and still get to kiss them good morning is boarding on nonexistent. Betzy promises me it will happen when I settle down. But I can’t settle down and the crushing weight that truth is loneliness.

This ability to throw it all away and live the gypsy life comes from the deep seeded need to not end up like my parents. They were from the age of collecting, from a time where you didn’t waste anything. I refuse to collect junk that I don’t use. This includes people, places, and things. Remember that if you don’t use it, throw it away. Embrace the throw away age!

So off to San Francisco to my new school, new apartment, new roommate, with my new car, new hair, to start a whole new life. And I get to do it all by myself.The choices I make will determine where my path leads but when I jump into my car and start driving westward that path will be as foggy as a San Francisco morning.